Mindfulness-Ways in which to practice Observing, Part One

There is so much to unpack in Observe, Describe, and Participate that I am only covering one per blog post. While the word Observing may seem really an obvious thing that we do, there are times we don't MINDFULLY practice Observing. My grandfather was really good at this and as I grow older I appreciate him more. He would just observe everyone around him, listen to what people were saying, and didn't say much back. When he did speak, he said some of the most intelligent things that made total sense. I am more the type to speak first and talk too much (if you haven't got the hint from these blogs.)  I am working on being more like my grandfather as he never came off stupid. I think he carefully weighed his words after spending time just observing and listening. It is a skill we sorely lack today when we are too busy to even observe anything as our noses are down looking at our cell phones.

Observing is not just a seeing skill (and my grandfather seemed to get that) but a skill using all of your senses.  Linehan states in her book that observing is 'bringing your mind back to the sensations of your body and mind" (Linehan, 2015, 2nd Edition)

So, the 'obvious' first ideas come from observing with our eyes

My favorite observations are cloud watching, picking up leaves, plants, and flowers and just REALLY looking at them, watching my cat sleep, looking through my plants to see if my tomatoes and peppers are coming up, and fully concentrating on any art project I am doing. I have many more, but it gives you an idea. 

Linehan offers a few others like: 

Slowly walking, pausing to stop and look at places with a great view. (Maybe a park?)

While sitting outside, watch what goes by in front of you. Don't stare at people. Let them or their pets walk on by.

While with someone, notice their facial expressions, body posture, or movements. Don't make it creepy! 

Look at another person's eyes, lips, or hands without being creepy. Lol. I think you can do this to show that you are paying attention to that person instead of looking at your phone. 

Observing sounds.

I love the purr of a cat, as it is soothing for me which I love and appreciate. I enjoy the sound of the wind blowing through trees, waves lapping up to the shore, the sound of a lawnmower in the distance, an airplane flying overhead, and even the sound of a chainsaw. My lawnmower and chainsaw sounds are from a lake place my family used to own, which is why it is so comforting to hear as I heard it so often as a child.

Marsha Linehan has ideas such as:

Just stopping for a moment to really listen to the sounds around you, including the silences.

When someone is talking to you or someone else, listen to the pitch of the voice, the roughness or smoothness of it, the pauses between words, and whether they are mumbling or talking clearly. I think a good example of a voice is Morgan Freeman. He has one of the best. Listen to music, specifically a voice, or instrument, how slow or fast it is, and maybe what style of music.

Observe smells

The ones I love the most seem to coincide with my closing my eyes to appreciate it more; the smell of freshly cut grass, the smell of the earth when it rains, the smell of cinnamon, basil, rosemary, and thyme, a specific perfume my maternal grandmother used to wear, the mixed smells of coffee and bacon. (My dad loved this smell too but never liked to drink coffee. The smell was even better when it was up at the lake place. It must have been the fresh air at that place that made it even better.)

Linehan has some other ideas:

Just breathe in where you are. What do you smell? 

Bring something like perfume or incense to your nose, smell it, then move it away from you and smell it again. Does the smell linger? When cooking or eating, take in the smells of spices, of the fully cooked dish when you are done cooking. Notice the smell of body wash you use or shampoo, and maybe notice the smell of your pet after giving them a bath.

Observe taste

I love the taste of Earl Grey tea, Death Wish or Caribou coffee, and my favorite creamer, Dr. Pepper on ice or ice water. The taste of blueberry preserves on my toast, a popsicle, a really good steak, chocolate...and not just drinking or eating, but savoring each sip, enjoying every bite.

In her DBT book, Linehan has more suggestions for observing taste:

Just putting something in your mouth, food or drink, and keeping it in your mouth tasting every spice or sensation (like carbonated beverages), or just enjoying the taste of your coffee or tea. 

Have a lollypop or popsicle, and slowly lick it, observing the sensation of taste.

Observe urges to do something. When you are feeling impulsive.

I hold my breath until I have the urge to breathe again. When I have the urge to eat more chocolate than I should, I eat only a piece of it, slowly letting it melt in my mouth. When I have the urge to stress shop, I just look at what I like online and ask myself if it's a want to a need, and then feel my stomach drop at the prices.

The suggestions Marsha has:

Scan your body and notice any sensations. Where in your body is the urge coming from?

When you are chewing your food, notice when you have the urge to swallow.

Notice your urge to avoid something or someone (I think this one I can relate to very well).

Observe sensations of touch on your skin

I notice the wind and temperature outside on my face and arms, the softness of my daughter's dog around her face and ears, my cat sleeping on top of me, the feel of the water from the shower on my face, and how my grandma's afghan feels on my skin when I am chilly.

Ideas from Linehan's DBT book:

Focus on anything that is touching you, or that you are touching. 

When walking, fast or slow, notice your feet touching the ground.

Notice any tension in your body, I carry tension in my neck, shoulders, and the top of my back.

Observe your breath

I'm going to merge my stuff with Linehan's as some of the are the same. 

Noticing breathing while listening to music or seeing your crush, or someone you love,

What happens to your breath when you step outside during winter or when you dive into a lake.

Do controlled breathing, slowly exhaling and inhaling, maybe lengthening the time between exhales and inhales.

Notice your breathing when working out.